When My Writing Goes to S%#@!

Some days I got nothin'

There are no words of inspiration,
no poems of deep despair.
There are no inner musings
of a complicated emotional state.

Some days my English goes to shit and my ability to annihilate
my first language knows no bounds.

Today I said, "Oh, that should make it more easier."
Yep, "more easier."

College grad, people. Right here.

So, like anyone going through the normal
I-don't-actually-write-good phase, I figured we could
throw some Facebook cleverness at it and call it a day.

That's right. I'm just going to copy and paste
words I wrote on facebook and walk away.
Ctrl+C,
Ctrl+V,
THE END.

• Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After three times it should default to unstable. -Keren Lewellyn {A simple quote from my sister. 26 people liked it. 26. I should just give her my passwords and be done with the Internet.}
• That awkward moment when the door bell rings and you panic because you're wearing boxer shorts...and only boxer shorts. {It happened. True story. I have nothing to say for myself.}
• Contemplated using my finger to retrieve Nutella from the jar but decided on a spoon. That, my friends, is maturity. {Am I right or am I right?}
• Friend: Sorry. We got disconnected. I'm not sure what happened. Me: I have AT&T. That's what happened. {I no longer have AT&T.}
• Best late night advice: Go to f'n sleep. Running is a terrible idea. {Advice compliments of smarter friends.}
• I'm glad the entire world agrees that grocery shopping is such a great idea on a Sunday. {Need sarcasm font. Yesterday}

And if you're still looking to drop your IQ, here are some lines I typed on Twitter...

• Hello world! In the spirit of full disclosure, I'm not a great tweeter and I'm allergic to gluten. There may be a connection.
• Best hair day in a month. Things like this should be documented and then put through instagram, right?
• Sharing a google calendar is like saying, "I not only trust your stalking capabilities but your ability to plan accordingly."
• The trick to garlic fries is to have EVERYONE partake. Either everyone smells or no one does. End of story.
• Currently taking applications for friends in the Bay Area. Must be cool and like Puerto Ricans.

Clunk.

Hear that? Your brain just left your head.

You really could be doing other things right now. You realize
that, right? Like, maybe reading wikipedia or something.

Oh my gosh, I love wikipedia.